Is Anthony Necessary?

I’m really starting to wonder about Anthony.

Look, we know that Murray plays guitar. And Jeff is a pretty mean keyboard player. Greg, of course, is the lead singer. Which begs the question: what the blazes does Anthony do, exactly, in this band?

Now, sometimes on the show, you’ll see Anthony happily bashing away at a drum set. But I don’t buy it. Because we also hear horns and a bass player, but no one is playing these instruments. So I have no trouble assuming Anthony is just miming the skins. (And by the way: if he is fake playing, why NOT the bass? Why don’t the Wiggles have a bass player? Do they think they’re the friggin’ White Stripes? (Another band with a hip color-- or colour-- scheme.) Or the triple-friggin’ Doors??? (Heaven forbid; worst band ever.) (Parentheses within parentheses. You don't see that a lot.)

Anyway, it is well documened that the Wiggles are augmented musically. It says so right on the website:

…Some of the backing music is pre-recorded and replayed on mini disc as this frees The Wiggles to sing and do their dances. It is more interesting for a child to watch actions and movements rather than a guitar solo (as good as it might be) However, this musical backing is augmented by Murray often playing his acoustic guitar and Jeff playing his keyboard. There are many times (such as the Captain's magic buttons segment of the show) when the music is totally live.

But you see what I’m getting at. Murray on guitar, Jeff on keys, Greg singing—- what is Anthony doing? Dorothy? I suppose I will find out on November 13, when I see the band for the first time. But right now, I’m thinking Anthony is the kid’s show version of Betty, who played tambourine in the Archies.

Oh, wait. I just remembered, the Archies WERE a kid’s show. So I guess Anthony is… Betty circa 2005?

Anthony and Dorothy?

The Wiggles World is buzzing with news from the set that Anthony and Dorothy have become a cross-species item. Rumors have it that Dorothy recently laid four eggs, and three of them were clad in blue shirts (the fourth bore a strong resemblance to the mother.) Neither party is talking, but the two of them looked awful cozy in Ghana recently to visit Brad and Angelina.