Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I'm Getting Ready to Wiggle


So of course I’ve been obsessing over the dream Wiggles concert. What will they play when I see them? If I could decide the set list, it would look something like this:

Wiggles World (the theme song) >
Get Ready to Wiggle
Wake Up Jeff
Fruit Salad
Point Your Fingers and Do the Twist
Dorothy the Dinosaur (Rum Bum Ba Chomp)
Dancing With Wags the Dog
Henry the Octopus (He Lives in the Deep Blue Sea)
Hwy John Badelum
Riding in a Big Red Car
Hot Potato > drum solo > Not Fade Away > Hot Potato

That would totally rock! For an encore, maybe "Don't Dream Its Over" by Crowded House.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

it truly IS a World, World Wiggles!


My wife works in a public school. Today she walked into a classroom of Kindergartners who had been sitting on a rug, bored, for a couple of hours. They were tired and cranky and restless. So she said to the kids, “Are you ready to wiggle?” And they all erupted “Yeah!” and spontaneously jumped up and collectively burst into the Wiggles theme song, the one that goes, “Get ready, to Wiggle…” (To the unWiggled, the show seems to go through theme songs like Ellen DeGeneres goes through B-list blondes, each one more insanely catchy than the next.) (The theme songs, not the blondes.) (Well, you might catch something from Portia de Rossi.)

The universality of the Wiggles is undeniable.

Tonight after Little Maestros class we bought the toddler (she is too big to be a baby) two Wiggles DVDs at Kidville (which, as you might suspect, is a whole ‘Ville just for kids.) It was tough to select just two, so I finally decided on the first two in the pile. Now we can watch the Wiggles 24/7, on any TV, with or without Tivo. Honey, make some fruit salad!

Every day, in every way, the Wiggles are becoming more and more a part of the essential fabric of life.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Every Day is Talk Like a Pirate Day


In honor of the good Captain Feathersword, AWWW is declaring today-- no, check that, EVERY day-- Talk Like a Pitate Day! Arrrrgh me hardies! Blow me down. Shiver me timbers! Then do the blowing thing again!

Friday, September 16, 2005

Am I Paranoid?


Lately it feels like Murray is waching me.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

That's Shanna's Post

When you start to write a blog (I find myself resisting the social pressure to use “to blog” as a verb), you quickly find that, unless you are in a rarified and generally well-funded 1%, the people who read your blog will be your friends, co-workers, and family. Indeed, I would suggest that the best way to stimulate readership is by using your friends and family as viral marketing agents, getting them to send people to your blog for links and content, and hoping they tell two friends, and so on and so on. (This will explain why I begin to introduce more hard core porn into my other blog.)

Anyway, since the very first day of my Wiggles blog, Shanna has been stopping by. She even comments. And I don’t know Shanna in the real world (not unless “Shanna” is just the screen name that weird old guy in my building uses. But I’ve 99% ruled that possibility out.)

So Shanna, this post is humbly dedicated to you—- AWWW’s public.

*****

By the way, the rest of you are probably wondering if this is the Shanna from Shanna’s Show. On the Disney Channel, often the Wiggles runs 25-minutes, and the half hour is filled out by a 5-minute vignette called Shanna’s Show. (Theme song: “My Name is Shanna, it rhymes with Banana”) If you Tivo Wiggles (OK, I’ll use Tivo as a verb) you get Shanna as well. We’ve seen dozens of them.

Anyhow, I have asked our Shanna if she is indeed that Shanna. She remains coy on the subject.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

I'm Scared of the Doodlebops

So a friend thought that being such big Wiggles fans, we'd naturally like the Doodlebops, because they too sing and dance and wear bright colors. So I grabbed a season pass on Tivo to check them out with my lovely daughter. Well, she was bored. But I was just totally freaked out. It was like a bad acid trip, only without the melting. These chicks are not normal! I thought maybe the Wiggles could date the Doodlebops (even though there are only three, but if Jeff was sleeping, it would even out.) No... way! First, just look at them.
Freaking terrifying, right? Then it turns out that, really, only one of them is a chick (although to be fair, the red headed guy makes Richard Simmons look butch.) Bad. Very bad! We will not watch the Doodlebops again. Although I will have night terrors for days.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

You Are Here. No, I Am Here. I Don't Know Where You Are.


Since word got out that we would be catching the Wiggles-- the fab 4 of the 21st century-- live and in color, the phone has been ringing off the hook. Everyone wants to know: where are the seats? Well, yo, check it. Not great, and I still may hit up a scalper to move up, but we are in the middle of section 201. The seating chart, obviously, is above.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Wigglemania!!!!!

I can't believe this is happening to ME! On November 13, my family and I will be in the Theater at Madison Square Garden, seeing the Wiggles LIVE! I can't believe it. I haven't been this giddy since the Beatles at Shea (and I was too little to even know about that.)

I'm ready, to Wiggle...

Friday, September 09, 2005

A Little Bit Feathersword

One of the most beloved characters in the Wiggles World is Captain Feathersword. But lately, the flamboyant Captain has been the subject of much half-whispered innuendo on the Wiggles bulliten boards and in the chat rooms. It seems that "feather sword" is Aussie slang for... well... there's no easy way to say this, for gay. Like, "Oh, I hear he'a a bit of a feather sword, if you know what I mean." Light in the loafers. Poofter. Like that.

Now, let us be clear here at IAWWW. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Not at all. It doesn't even impact my decision to allow my child to watch the show, thanks to Tivo, virtually on demand all afternoon (I must admit, it took some parental encouragement to get her onto the lads and off of Baby Mozart and that damn Elmo-- I mean, come on Elmo, you're teaching my child, can you learn a frigging pronoun!??)

The good captain was unavailable for comment and did not answer our emails. Apparently he is on holiday in New Zealand with Wags the Dog.

We here at IAWWW still love the captain, and thrill to his antics. Indeed we wish to offer our unconditional support to him as the nasty whispers intensify.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Wiggly Errata

Of course I meant wiggles RULE, not RUE. But its a funny kind of a Freudian typo, innit, so I'm keeping it.

Wiggles Rue!




I don't really have much to say about the Wiggles right now. But I want to write words in my blog like Wiggles, Disney Channel, kids TV, Wiggles, Sesame Street (the Wiggles is a cross between Sesame Street and Crowded House), Elmo, and hot Asian sex, so that Goooooooooogle's AdSense would have a better handle on what to serve in my banners. I'm ALL about the advertising; if this blog sells one piece of Wiggles merchandise to one flood refugee child, then it will all have been worth it, no?

By the way, check out my other blog. I worked out a deal where, for everyone referred there from this space, I pay myself a tenth of a penny. And vice versa.

Jeff, Murray, Anthony, and Gregg Wiggle. Wiggles!

Tomorrow (or thereafter): the whispering about Captain Feathersword...

Which Wiggle Are You? Take the IAWWW quiz.


Q1. Which of the following things would you rather do?

A) Eat a big sandwich

B) Drive a red car

C) Play your guitar

D) Take a nap

Scoring: for each "A," take 1 point. For each "B," take 2 points. For each "C," take 3 points. For each "D," take 4 points.

0-1: Congratulations: you're an Anthony
2: Congratulations, you're a Greg
3: Congratulations, you're a Murray
4 or more: Congratulations, you're a Jeff

Everything Wiggles

This blog is dedicated to the greatest act in show business, the kangaroo pack of the 21st century, the fabulous WIGGLES!