I Like the Live Wiggles Logo

WIGGLES ROCK THE HOUSE!!!!

I saw Springsteen from the fourth row at the Palladium in 1978. I saw one of the 10 LIVE performances of the Wall by Pink Floyd, in 1980. And now, I have seen the New Fab Four, Murray, Jeff, Gregg, and Anthony-- The Wiggles.

Those three gigs. Nothing else comes close.

We attended the Wiggles matinee show this past Sunday at the Theater at Madison Square Garden. Me, my wife, my daughter, and my sister, brother-in-law, niece (20 mos.) and nephew (almost 4). There was a buzz in the air as we approached the theater; scalpers asking,“Who needs Wiggles?, nervously avoiding the cops on horseback, turning down $500, $600 a ticket. Vendors on the street hawking counterfeit Wiggles merchandise. Dealers lurking in the shadows, selling juice boxes and “magic” skittles. Babies in strollers, wheeling around outside with one finger up, looking for a miracle.

Inside, the fervor grew even more frenzied. Moms were flush as curtain time approached. Dads warily eyed the video screens as their wives swooned over images of the Aussie rock Gods. Diapers were changed. Sippie cups were drunk.

Finally the lights go down, and the video screens show the lads in the Big Red Car, driving from Australia over hill and dale, right to the stage door at the Theater. Then, suddenly, they are here! Tooling across the stage, surrounded by the most decedent dance line this side of Vegas. Singing, dancing, kicking. Greg skids to a halt, they dash out of the vehicle and assume their positions.

They played for almost 90 minutes. The highlights were too numerous to mention: the opening “Lights, Camera, Action!” pulled us out of our seats, unless of course someone was sitting on our laps at the time. Then the hits just kept tumbling out: “Point Your Finger and Do the Twist,” “Fruit Salad” (totally rocked, including a 12-minute drums > space jam), “Dancing With Wags the Dog,” “Hot Potato.” I wish I’d written down the set list. Thankfully they stuck with the classic Wiggly repertoire, eschewing the later, raga-influenced work. Oh yeah, and “Captain Feathersword’s Magic Buttons” (they made animal sounds.) The flamboyant Captain was in fine form, mugging for the crowd, his song-and-dance background apparent.

Jeff only fell asleep about four times, but all was forgiven as he ran the length of the theater, up and down every aisle, posing for pictures, laughing and playing with kids and mommies and daddies. I had an aisle seat, and he was right next to me; I could have reached out and touched him. I SHOULD have reached out and touched him. Idiot! What was I thinking...

Murray also made the trip through the house. The whole show was full of good cheer; in fact, the boys even ad-libbed some of the dialogue, as was apparent when Greg said it was night, and Anthony pointed out that it was actually afternoon; they compromised on evening. When Jeff awoke he was laughing, and declared that it was indeed evening. All four of them were cracking up, pushing further and further off script. It was a nice moment, and showed the genuine camaraderie they share.

There was a nice interlude where one of the dancers was featured during a number about a dancing brown girl (a folk song from the Caribbean.)

The closing number was “Dancing at Wiggle Bay,” a raucous joyous rocker that gave way to a reprise of some of the hits they’d played earlier in the afternoon. The guys were all-singin’, all-dancin’ and full of high spirits and good cheer. No one left disappointed, parents included. These songs, as you know, are insanely catchy. You couldn’t help but walk out singing “Point Your Finger and Do the Twist.” The Manhattan hustle and bustle had a distinctly red, yellow, purple and blue hue to it on the way home. Even the homeless were Wiggly.

My daughter? She slept through the whole show.

*****

WORLD, WORLD WIGGLES EXCLUSIVE!!!

It was announced at the Sunday afternoon show that Greg has a double hernia. He wanted to play out the string of NYC shows, but he was flying back to Australia—- a 24-hour flight, his bandmates good-naturedly ribbed him—- for surgery right after the day's gigs. He will be sidelined for the rest of the tour. IAWWW wishes Greg a speedy recovery, and wants to know why he wore a short sleeve shirt.

Is Anthony Necessary?

I’m really starting to wonder about Anthony.

Look, we know that Murray plays guitar. And Jeff is a pretty mean keyboard player. Greg, of course, is the lead singer. Which begs the question: what the blazes does Anthony do, exactly, in this band?

Now, sometimes on the show, you’ll see Anthony happily bashing away at a drum set. But I don’t buy it. Because we also hear horns and a bass player, but no one is playing these instruments. So I have no trouble assuming Anthony is just miming the skins. (And by the way: if he is fake playing, why NOT the bass? Why don’t the Wiggles have a bass player? Do they think they’re the friggin’ White Stripes? (Another band with a hip color-- or colour-- scheme.) Or the triple-friggin’ Doors??? (Heaven forbid; worst band ever.) (Parentheses within parentheses. You don't see that a lot.)

Anyway, it is well documened that the Wiggles are augmented musically. It says so right on the website:

…Some of the backing music is pre-recorded and replayed on mini disc as this frees The Wiggles to sing and do their dances. It is more interesting for a child to watch actions and movements rather than a guitar solo (as good as it might be) However, this musical backing is augmented by Murray often playing his acoustic guitar and Jeff playing his keyboard. There are many times (such as the Captain's magic buttons segment of the show) when the music is totally live.

But you see what I’m getting at. Murray on guitar, Jeff on keys, Greg singing—- what is Anthony doing? Dorothy? I suppose I will find out on November 13, when I see the band for the first time. But right now, I’m thinking Anthony is the kid’s show version of Betty, who played tambourine in the Archies.

Oh, wait. I just remembered, the Archies WERE a kid’s show. So I guess Anthony is… Betty circa 2005?

Anthony and Dorothy?

The Wiggles World is buzzing with news from the set that Anthony and Dorothy have become a cross-species item. Rumors have it that Dorothy recently laid four eggs, and three of them were clad in blue shirts (the fourth bore a strong resemblance to the mother.) Neither party is talking, but the two of them looked awful cozy in Ghana recently to visit Brad and Angelina.

I'm Getting Ready to Wiggle

So of course I’ve been obsessing over the dream Wiggles concert. What will they play when I see them? If I could decide the set list, it would look something like this:

Wiggles World (the theme song) >
Get Ready to Wiggle
Wake Up Jeff
Fruit Salad
Point Your Fingers and Do the Twist
Dorothy the Dinosaur (Rum Bum Ba Chomp)
Dancing With Wags the Dog
Henry the Octopus (He Lives in the Deep Blue Sea)
Hwy John Badelum
Riding in a Big Red Car
Hot Potato > drum solo > Not Fade Away > Hot Potato

That would totally rock! For an encore, maybe "Don't Dream Its Over" by Crowded House.

it truly IS a World, World Wiggles!

My wife works in a public school. Today she walked into a classroom of Kindergartners who had been sitting on a rug, bored, for a couple of hours. They were tired and cranky and restless. So she said to the kids, “Are you ready to wiggle?” And they all erupted “Yeah!” and spontaneously jumped up and collectively burst into the Wiggles theme song, the one that goes, “Get ready, to Wiggle…” (To the unWiggled, the show seems to go through theme songs like Ellen DeGeneres goes through B-list blondes, each one more insanely catchy than the next.) (The theme songs, not the blondes.) (Well, you might catch something from Portia de Rossi.)

The universality of the Wiggles is undeniable.

Tonight after Little Maestros class we bought the toddler (she is too big to be a baby) two Wiggles DVDs at Kidville (which, as you might suspect, is a whole ‘Ville just for kids.) It was tough to select just two, so I finally decided on the first two in the pile. Now we can watch the Wiggles 24/7, on any TV, with or without Tivo. Honey, make some fruit salad!

Every day, in every way, the Wiggles are becoming more and more a part of the essential fabric of life.

Every Day is Talk Like a Pirate Day

In honor of the good Captain Feathersword, AWWW is declaring today-- no, check that, EVERY day-- Talk Like a Pitate Day! Arrrrgh me hardies! Blow me down. Shiver me timbers! Then do the blowing thing again!

Am I Paranoid?

Lately it feels like Murray is waching me.

That's Shanna's Post

When you start to write a blog (I find myself resisting the social pressure to use “to blog” as a verb), you quickly find that, unless you are in a rarified and generally well-funded 1%, the people who read your blog will be your friends, co-workers, and family. Indeed, I would suggest that the best way to stimulate readership is by using your friends and family as viral marketing agents, getting them to send people to your blog for links and content, and hoping they tell two friends, and so on and so on. (This will explain why I begin to introduce more hard core porn into my other blog.)

Anyway, since the very first day of my Wiggles blog, Shanna has been stopping by. She even comments. And I don’t know Shanna in the real world (not unless “Shanna” is just the screen name that weird old guy in my building uses. But I’ve 99% ruled that possibility out.)

So Shanna, this post is humbly dedicated to you—- AWWW’s public.

*****

By the way, the rest of you are probably wondering if this is the Shanna from Shanna’s Show. On the Disney Channel, often the Wiggles runs 25-minutes, and the half hour is filled out by a 5-minute vignette called Shanna’s Show. (Theme song: “My Name is Shanna, it rhymes with Banana”) If you Tivo Wiggles (OK, I’ll use Tivo as a verb) you get Shanna as well. We’ve seen dozens of them.

Anyhow, I have asked our Shanna if she is indeed that Shanna. She remains coy on the subject.

I'm Scared of the Doodlebops

So a friend thought that being such big Wiggles fans, we'd naturally like the Doodlebops, because they too sing and dance and wear bright colors. So I grabbed a season pass on Tivo to check them out with my lovely daughter. Well, she was bored. But I was just totally freaked out. It was like a bad acid trip, only without the melting. These chicks are not normal! I thought maybe the Wiggles could date the Doodlebops (even though there are only three, but if Jeff was sleeping, it would even out.) No... way! First, just look at them.
Freaking terrifying, right? Then it turns out that, really, only one of them is a chick (although to be fair, the red headed guy makes Richard Simmons look butch.) Bad. Very bad! We will not watch the Doodlebops again. Although I will have night terrors for days.

You Are Here. No, I Am Here. I Don't Know Where You Are.

Since word got out that we would be catching the Wiggles-- the fab 4 of the 21st century-- live and in color, the phone has been ringing off the hook. Everyone wants to know: where are the seats? Well, yo, check it. Not great, and I still may hit up a scalper to move up, but we are in the middle of section 201. The seating chart, obviously, is above.

Wigglemania!!!!!

I can't believe this is happening to ME! On November 13, my family and I will be in the Theater at Madison Square Garden, seeing the Wiggles LIVE! I can't believe it. I haven't been this giddy since the Beatles at Shea (and I was too little to even know about that.)

I'm ready, to Wiggle...

A Little Bit Feathersword

One of the most beloved characters in the Wiggles World is Captain Feathersword. But lately, the flamboyant Captain has been the subject of much half-whispered innuendo on the Wiggles bulliten boards and in the chat rooms. It seems that "feather sword" is Aussie slang for... well... there's no easy way to say this, for gay. Like, "Oh, I hear he'a a bit of a feather sword, if you know what I mean." Light in the loafers. Poofter. Like that.

Now, let us be clear here at IAWWW. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Not at all. It doesn't even impact my decision to allow my child to watch the show, thanks to Tivo, virtually on demand all afternoon (I must admit, it took some parental encouragement to get her onto the lads and off of Baby Mozart and that damn Elmo-- I mean, come on Elmo, you're teaching my child, can you learn a frigging pronoun!??)

The good captain was unavailable for comment and did not answer our emails. Apparently he is on holiday in New Zealand with Wags the Dog.

We here at IAWWW still love the captain, and thrill to his antics. Indeed we wish to offer our unconditional support to him as the nasty whispers intensify.

Wiggly Errata

Of course I meant wiggles RULE, not RUE. But its a funny kind of a Freudian typo, innit, so I'm keeping it.

Wiggles Rue!

I don't really have much to say about the Wiggles right now. But I want to write words in my blog like Wiggles, Disney Channel, kids TV, Wiggles, Sesame Street (the Wiggles is a cross between Sesame Street and Crowded House), Elmo, and hot Asian sex, so that Goooooooooogle's AdSense would have a better handle on what to serve in my banners. I'm ALL about the advertising; if this blog sells one piece of Wiggles merchandise to one flood refugee child, then it will all have been worth it, no?

By the way, check out my other blog. I worked out a deal where, for everyone referred there from this space, I pay myself a tenth of a penny. And vice versa.

Jeff, Murray, Anthony, and Gregg Wiggle. Wiggles!

Tomorrow (or thereafter): the whispering about Captain Feathersword...

Which Wiggle Are You? Take the IAWWW quiz.

Q1. Which of the following things would you rather do?

A) Eat a big sandwich

B) Drive a red car

C) Play your guitar

D) Take a nap

Scoring: for each "A," take 1 point. For each "B," take 2 points. For each "C," take 3 points. For each "D," take 4 points.

0-1: Congratulations: you're an Anthony
2: Congratulations, you're a Greg
3: Congratulations, you're a Murray
4 or more: Congratulations, you're a Jeff

Everything Wiggles

This blog is dedicated to the greatest act in show business, the kangaroo pack of the 21st century, the fabulous WIGGLES!